Reviewing The Golden Raspberry Awards 2023

Razzie time again! I was a bit delayed releasing this due to work, but that allowed me to hopefully avoid another embarrassing incident like with my last one, as I will mention soon. As with my previous two posts, I plan to analyse every single recipient of these "awards" as well as give my thoughts on whether they deserved them or not. I saw the many guesses that people had made as to which films would be nominated - some of the ones I'll be mentioning were expected, but others came off as a surprise.

Before I start reviewing though, I would like to discuss two things from last year's post.

The first is the business with Bruce Willis' award. A whole category was set up for all the dreadful movies he was part of in 2021, due to there being so many. However, it was discovered afterwards that Willis had been diagnosed with aphasia and the "award" was rendered null and void in response. I honestly think this was the best course of action. Sure, the movies are still horrible and I cannot believe that so many could have been made in one year, but if his illness affected his acting, it shouldn't be right to hand him an "award" that makes fun of him. Especially since the disease affects his cognitive abilities such as language and speech.

The second is about a case of bad timing on my part, specifically with regard to Will Smith winning the Razzie Redeemer award for King Richard. You see, I made sure that the article was up in the afternoon just after the Razzies were announced - in fact, I wrote a lot of the article before the Razzie winners were announced, with the appropriate edits being made afterwards. Keep in mind that the Razzies get announced the night before the Oscars. I wrote quite a glowing piece on how King Richard was a redeeming moment for Will Smith and that he was the favourite of the awards season and how hopefully his career wouldn't go downhill again in the future...

...And then at the Oscars, he bitch slapped Chris Rock onstage for making fun of his wife and got kicked out of the Academy as a result. Honestly, my views on it are very mixed. On the one hand, I don't think much of Chris Rock anyway. When he was at the Oscars last time, he made a derogatory comment about voice acting and how it was so easy, even though in reality it's an entirely different beast when compared to onscreen acting. If anything, I think it's harder due to having to focus more on the voice than anything else and some people who are brilliant on-screen actors like Sandra Bullock don't do so well with the voice-acting part. The tasteless alopecia joke was simply a new low for Rock, even if the rumours that he didn't know about Jada Pinkett-Smith's alopecia condition turn out to be true. Considering he made jokes about her before, I think he just has a really misguided conception that since they were together in Madagascar, it gives him the right to joke about her. And it doesn't help that some people were all like "it's just a joke, why do you have to be offended?", even though alopecia is a genuinely serious condition that can really play havoc with your self-esteem.

On the other hand though, don't slap someone live on TV like that. Everyone else was already moaning and showing distaste for the joke, so in hindsight the slap wasn't really necessary. All it ended up doing was overshadowing the rest of the night, which saw some surprisingly diverse films and actors win for once - kind of a surprise considering how the Oscars has a pretty poor diversity track record. And as much as I look down on Rock at times, he actually did recover well from that incident. Word of advise for next time someone makes a tasteless joke about your wife at an award ceremony - either make a snide comment in response to the joke without any swearing, or better yet, wait until you get your award and then make a joke about him in response. NEVER bring physical violence into the equation.

Anyway, now I've got those two points out of the way, it's time to look at the categories from this year's ceremony!

Worst Picture - Blonde.

From everything I saw, Morbius was THE biggest contender for Razzie nominations, and it of course got nominated for this category, along with four others. The nominee in this category with the most nominations overall (eight in total) is Blonde, another exploitative movie in the same vein as The Haunting of Sharon Tate that this time focuses on Marilyn Monroe - like Morbius, it was also highly expected to get nominated in the first place. Another major contender is Disney's live-action remake of Pinnochio, which one of my friends (a major Disney fan) stopped watching after ten minutes due to how awful it was - it was also nominated for five other categories. Next is The King's Daughter, a bizarre film about King Louis XIII capturing a mermaid for the sake of gaining immortality (a thing that makes sense in you understand Japanese mermaid folklore, but doesn't work here) - "fortunately" for it, it has only received two other nominations. Finally, there's Good Mourning, a Machine Gun Kelly and Mod Sun "stoner comedy" project that scored 0% on Rotten Tomatoes and received six other nominations here.

This year, Blonde took the win for Worst Picture. It's an interesting win, as while it still has a Rotten rating on Rotten Tomatoes, it isn't that low compared to some of the other films on the list. Plus, I know that a lot of people were banking on Morbius to win overall. But it's still a well-deserved win for Blonde - it's shallow, exploitative and sexist, with the message it tries to send out ringing hypocritical in the process. At least Morbius is an enjoyable film to watch despite its flaws, mainly in the "so bad it's good" manner. I remember a few people who would have preferred the equally offensive Haunting to have won over Cats a few years ago due to them seeing the latter as "so bad, it's good", but the similarities between Haunting and Blonde mean that this essentially makes up for that.

My main offense is that both the 365 Days sequels are not in this category, despite people highly suspecting they would be, due to them being tasteless sequels to an already tasteless movie that glorifies trafficking and sexual abuse. Oh well, at least it was nominated for two other categories, which I'll get to later. And Blonde is just as sexist and exploitative as well, so that also makes up for the absence.

Worst Director - Machine Gun Kelly and Mod Sun for Good Mourning.

Machine Gun Kelly and Mod Sun receive a joint nomination for directing Good Mourning. As for solo nominations, Andrew Dominik is nominated for directing Blonde, Daniel Espinosa is nominated for directing Morbius and Robert Zemeckis (whose career has really gone down the tubes in recent years) is nominated for directing Disney's Pinocchio. Another interesting to note is that Judd Apatow, most known for successful comedies such as Superbad, Pineapple Express, Knocked Up, The 40 Year Old Virgin and Funny People, has been nominated for The Bubble, which may be one of his first major missteps. Of course in the past, he was nominated for a Stinker's Bad Movie Awards for his screenplay for the mediocre Fun with Dick and Jane remake in 2005 and was placed in the Hall of Shame in 2009 by the Women Film Critics Circle Awards due to his questionable ways of portraying women in his films, but this is his first ever Razzie nomination.

MGK and Mod Sun "enjoyed" a joint win for this category. The whole movie comes across as some dire vanity project which doesn't even come across as the comedy that it's supposed to be. I mean, they not only star in it, but also star in it and write it - kind of similar to when Shane van Dyke wrote, directed and starred in the utterly abysmal Titanic II in 2010. In fact, last time I looked at Rotten Tomatoes, Good Mourning was still at 0%, which should warn you about the quality.

I will also note that this is not the first time a musician has "won" for Worst Director, as Sia "won" for her offensive film Music in 2021. Sure, she didn't star in it, but it was still an absolute mess. Maybe having musicians dabble in film directing is something that should be avoided in the future.

Worst Actor - Jared Leto as the titular character of Morbius.

After winning Worst Supporting Actor last year for his laughable performance as Paulo Gucci in the otherwise decent House of Gucci, Jared Leto has now been nominated for his role as the titular Morbius, another role in which he carried out some bizarre method acting for it. Tom Hanks also received his FIRST EVER Razzie nomination for his role as Geppetto in Pinocchio, a role in which he puts on a bizarre accent and thus played a major role in making my friend stop watching the movie. Next is Colson Baker (a.k.a. Machine Gun Kelly), more of a music artist by trade than an actor, nominated for his role as London Clash in his own movie Good Mourning. And then of course there's Razzie veteran Sylvester Stallone being nominated AGAIN, this time for his role in Samaritan as Joe Smith/Samaritan/Nemesis (?). One nomination I was heavily surprised by though was Pete Davidson for his voice role as the titular Marmaduke - mainly because I didn't even know they'd made another one recently after the live-action trainwreck from 2010 with Owen Wilson.

I mean, is it really a surprise that Leto won for the second time in a row? Pretty much everyone banking on the Razzies saw this one coming. His method acting was so laughably bad, just like in the role he won the Razzie for last year. Hanks was dreadful in his role, I will outright say, but Leto just outright overshadows him when it comes to bad acting. Overall, a category win that not only most Razzie fans (including myself) predicted, but was also well deserved.

Worst Actress - The...Razzies itself.

This was the category with the nominees I recognised the least. By that, I mean that I wasn't aware of these roles in the first place. Bryce Dallas Howard is a well-known actress and Jurassic World: Dominion was a known critical disappointment - she plays Claire Dearing in the movie. Meanwhile, Alicia Silverstone and Diane Keaton are also well-known actresses, but I was unfamiliar of their respective roles in The Requin as Jaelyn and Mack & Rita as Mackenzie "Mack" Martin/Rita. And I'm certainly not familiar with Kaya Scodelario, who plays Marie-Josèphe in The King's Daughter, though the film is also a major Razzie contender this year.

Though Blonde has been nominated for nearly every single other category at this year's Razzies, Ana de Armas, the actress who played Marilyn Monroe herself, was not nominated here due to critics seeing her as the one positive thing about the movie. Bizarrely enough though, she was nominated for an Oscar despite it still not being an outstanding performance, and it just makes the exclusion of Danielle Deadwyler for her outstanding role in Till even more ridiculous and further proof of the diversity issues with the Oscars - thank goodness that Michelle Yeoh ended up winning it in the end over Armas.

It should also be noted that Ryan Kiera Armstrong was originally nominated for her role as Charlene "Charlie" McGee in Firestarter, but was ultimately removed from the list after extreme public outcry. I think this was definitely the right thing - after all, getting underage actors involved in this sort of thing is extremely risky business and could definitely cross the line into bullying rather than simply saying "they were a bad actor". The only thing I will add though is that Maddie Ziegler still deserved her Razzie for her offensive role in Music as an autistic girl two years ago despite being neurotypical (besides, I think she was eighteen at the time anyway), though removing Armstrong from the nominees list this year is still the right move.

...Which is why this year, the Razzies ended up taking the win itself for the embarrassing and tasteless blunder, with their mascot Razz Berry giving the acceptance speech at the online ceremony. This was BY FAR the biggest surprise of the night - it turns out that voting still went ahead as normal, but they put themselves in the place of Armstrong and won by a landslide. But hey, I'm not complaining - it shows that they're willing to own up to the blunder, especially considering the Bruce Willis controversy from last year. I will also say that none of the other roles on this list are memorably bad like some of the other nominees in different categories, so I would not have had any strong opinions on them winning. Fortunately however, this one will certainly be a memorable win. ;)

Worst Supporting Actor - Tom Hanks as Colonel Tom Parker in Elvis.

Two films dominated this list - both Mod Sun and Pete Davidson (again, but in a cameo role this time) from Good Mourning were nominated for their respective roles as Dylan and Berry, as were Xavier Samuel and Evan Williams from Blonde for their respective roles as Charles "Cass" Chaplin Jr. and Edward G. "Eddy" Robinson Jr.. But the biggest shock I got was Tom Hanks (again!) being nominated for his role as Colonel Tom Parker in the film Elvis. That film was a major critical darling, with Austin Butler in particular being praised for his role as Elvis Presley, and I feel that it was a much-needed return to form for Baz Luhrmann...up to the point in which I forgot that the same critics had also slated Hanks' performance in the same movie. And for good reason too. It sure seems that Hanks has either had a dud year or is starting to have his career derailed.

And of course the unthinkable has happened - Tom Hanks has actually WON his first Razzie ever, all for this category. Good films have been nominated for and won Razzie awards for this category in the past (Fahrenheit 11/9, Borat: Subsequent Moviefilm and House of Gucci being prime examples), and this is no exception. I think that a LOT of people out there thought that Hanks would never have receive a Razzie nomination itself, let alone a Razzie win. But I'm just going to say it outright at the risk of outrage - I think he's kind of overrated sometimes. Some of his film roles like in Toy Story and Saving Private Ryan are brilliant, but others like Forrest Gump should not have received the acclaim they did in the first place. Guess we'll just have to see what happens afterwards and whether he can keep his Hollywood darling status after this blunder.

Worst Supporting Actress - Adria Arjona as Martine Bancroft from Morbius.

I recognised the films in this category slightly more than I did for Worst Lead Actress. Adria Arjona are Lorraine Bracco are nominated for respective Razzie favourites Morbius and Pinocchio for their respective roles as Martine Bancroft and Sofia the Seagull. Meanwhile, I remember Lamborghini: The Man Behind the Legend being slated and being seen as a potential Razzie contender, and Mira Sorvino has been nominated for her role as Annita in it. I was not so familiar with The 355, which has Fan Bingbing and Penélope Cruz (likely the most famous actress in this category) nominated for their respective roles as Lin Mi Sheng and Graciela Rivera, though it should be pointed out that Fan Bingbing has also been nominated due to her role as the Mermaid in The King's Daughter, which has already popped up a few times at this awards ceremony.

Morbius took its second "win" with regard to Arjona this time round. This was likely the most forgettable win in my opinion, with the main thing standing being that she was named "Adriana" for some reason in the accompanying video, but as I said, I'm not familiar with these roles on the list anyway. Plus, Morbius itself is a memorable movie for all the wrong reasons and Arjona was legitimately bad in her role - though not to the same extent as Leto in his.

Worst Screen Couple - Tom Hanks and his latex-laden face (and ludicrous accent) in Elvis.

The main non-joke nominees are Machine Gun Kelly and Mod Sun for Good Mourning, due to not only starring in the film together, but also directing and writing it together, and both of the 365 Days sequels (I say "non-joke" due to the tragic reality of their existence and the horrific aspects of them). In fact, the nomination of "both real life characters (Marilyn Monroe and John F. Kennedy) in the fallacious White House bedroom scene" from Blonde could also be a non-joke case due to the exploitativeness of the film, but the way that the Razzies wrote it down is slightly tongue-in-cheek. As is Andrew Dominik and his issues with women from the same movie, which is also written in a tongue-in-cheek manner in the Razzies website but is ultimately criticising a man for his misogynistic creative choices. What is most certainly a "joke" nominee though is Tom Hanks and his latex-laden face (and ludicrous accent) in Elvis, which is mainly just joking about a man's dreadful prosthetics and fake accent.

And for a SECOND time, Hanks takes a Razzie for the same role. I am just going to say outright that yes, the accent is indeed stupid. And it's not the first time he's done something like that either. Forrest Gump involves him putting on a stupid accent too, but people chose to fawn over that performance anyway because he was playing an "inspirational" autistic person - despite the fact that it's an extremely stereotypical portrayal of autistic people and insulting for autistic people like myself. In fact, there are MANY problems with that film that people overlook, but that would be deviating from this subject for now. What I will say is that any of these nominees would have been the right winner for this category anyway, and this combo certainly was.

Worst Remake, Rip-Off, Or Sequel - Disney's Pinocchio.

We have three sequels and three remakes here. For the sequels, both 365 Days: This Day and The Next 365 Days follow on from past Razzie winner 365 Days (obviously) while Jurassic World: Dominion is the third Jurassic World movie. Disney's Pinocchio is obviously a remake of the much better animated film from 1940, as well as an adaptation of the book of the same name. Firestarter is essentially an adaptation of a Stephen King novel, but is also a remake of the 1984 movie (which also did badly, but hey, at least it has a soundtrack by Tangerine Dream). Finally, Blonde is based on a book by Joyce Carol Oates, but is essentially a bad "remake" of Marilyn Monroe's life.

The 365 Days sequels did not win here, so unfortunately they did not win any awards at all. However, I am perfectly willing to accept Disney's Pinocchio as the actual winner of the category. It's yet another dire live-action remake of a Disney classic, following in the footsteps of duds like Beauty & The Beast, Mulan, Aladdin, The Lion King (even though that remake is still animated in a sense) and Dumbo (I am also willing to count Maleficent here too). Pinocchio and Jiminy Cricket look unintentionally creepy (even creepier than the new Dumbo) and Hanks is of course overacting with a ridiculous accent. There's also the fact that it has the bad fortune of coming out around the same time of the Guilliamo del Toro version, which is downright fantastic and also extremely surprising with its take on the original story. That one definitely deserves the awards that it has received...while this one only deserves at least one Razzie.

I will also discuss my friend for a moment - she loves Disney movies, especially the animated types. She is not so fond of the live-action ones however. For instance, she actually cried when watching the Mulan remake due to how bad it was. The fact that she stopped watching this one after TEN MINUTES should be an indicator of how horrible the movie is. Definitely a Disney film that should be skipped altogether.

Worst Screenplay - Blonde (Andrew Dominik).

MGK and Mod Sun are once again nominated, this time for "writing" Good Mourning (yes, the Razzies put "written" in speech marks as well). Dominik also gets nominated again for writing Blonde, based on the "bio-novel" by Joyce Carol Oates (again, the Razzies put the quotation marks around "bio-novel"). Meanwhile we have some newcomers at this ceremony - Matt Sazama and Burk Sharpless have been nominated for Morbius, while Emily Carmichael, Colin Treverrow and Derek Connolly have been nominated for Jurassic World: Dominion (Carmichael wrote the screenplay, Connolly wrote the story and Treverrow wrote both). Disney's Pinocchio is also nominated, with Robert Zemeckis making a return but Chris Weitz getting his first nomination at this year's awards (and according to the Razzies, the screenplay is not authorised by the Estate of Pinocchio's original writer Carlo Collodi for some reason).

Fitting that the last of the Worst awards should go to the first winner on this list, making it go full circle. Though the original book is very controversial itself with regard to its take on Monroe's life, it seems that the movie and its script heightened all of its flaws. The fact that Dominik also directed the film just adds salt into the wound, even if he didn't win that category in the end. It's clearly trying to be all "stylistic" and "arty", but is basically an outright exploitation film. Definitely up there with The Haunting of Sharon Tate with regard to bad taste and sexism towards its actress lead.

Razzie Redeemer Award - Colin Farrell for The Banshees of Inisherin.

To finish this off, I will mention the Razzie Redeemer Awards, the award that honours the good rather than the bad. Three nominees were here this time - Colin Farrell, who had a major blunder with the 2004 movie Alexander, for his role in The Banshees of Inisherin, regular Razzie nominee Mark Wahlberg for his role in Father Stu and Val Kilmer for his role in the Netflix documentary Val.

Farrell won this category, in what I feel is a well-deserved win. The film is just another masterpiece from Martin McDonagh, who has worked on other brilliant films such as In Bruges, Seven Psychopaths and Three Billboards Outside Ebbing, Missouri. And Farrell is brilliant in his role too. That scene they showed where after a moment of awkward silence, he tries to insist that his friend loves him only for his former friend to say no is absolutely heartbreaking. I highly recommend you check this film out, along with the other McDonagh films I just mentioned.

Overall, a very interesting ceremony with some surprise wins, as well as an interesting distribution of awards. Blonde, Morbius and Elvis won two awards each (the latter film mainly for Tom Hanks) and Good Mourning, Disney's Pinocchio and the Razzies awards themselves won one award each. There were also many nominees that I didn't expect to see on the list, but ultimately made sense - Tom Hanks for his role as Colonel Tom Parker being a primary example.

As I said earlier, I feel that the 365 Days sequels should have been in the Worst Picture and Worst Screenplay categories (it would have even been nice if it had won a category) and I still think that the major dud Don't Worry Darling should have been nominated for some awards - I'm thinking Worst Picture, Worst Director (Olivia Wilde) and Worst Lead Actor (Harry Styles), given that Wilde cast Styles simply because they were dating at the time. That said, the more "positive" award shows like the Oscars, Annies, BAFTAs and Golden Globes screwed up BIG time by not nominating The Bad Guys for Best Animated Film despite its major critical and commercial success (plus the fact that it's a brilliant film anyway), and of course the Oscars made a MAJOR mistake in not nominating Deadwyler for Till, so it's not like only one award ceremony left something out.

Anyway, that concludes my Razzie review for this year. I'm interested to see what garbage makes it onto the nominees lists next time, and hopefully the Razzies doesn't make any mistakes with the nominations like with Armstrong next time around. Hope you enjoyed the ceremony just as much as I did and I'm curious to see other people's opinions on what they thought of the chosen winners as well. ;)

Seeing The London Christmas Lights 2022

This has been my fourth year seeing the Christmas lights with my mother in London. This is also the first time I used two different cameras - there was my digital one I usually use, but I recently got a smart phone with a camera installed on it. I uploaded the digital camera ones for this blog post because they were the easiest ones to upload, but hopefully I can upload the phone ones in the future.

It was quite a different experience this year compared to the last two years due to not so many COVID-19 regulations being in place. Adding the fact that the visit was much closer to Christmas Eve than in previous years and what we encountered was a busier London with more people out. That said, it did not stop us from getting a good look at what we wanted to see, as well as some new decorations.

Waterloo Station had what I consider to be a guilty pleasure of mine - a Haribo-themed Christmas tree. Extremely commercial, but for some reason I can't help but love it. Especially with the sweets being used as decorations. There was also a pretty banging Christmas tune playing at the same time.

We took the train to Green Park, where one of the first things we encountered was the Ritz Hotel decked up.

Bond Street had very different lights this year. For the past many years, they've have the same peacock-styled ones, but this time they had crowns. This is what the street looks like in the daytime.

And this is one of the lights at nighttime.

Fortnam & Mason's had impressive window displays as always. This year, the main theme was sayings and words of advice paired with images of a bellboy trying to get tasks done before Christmas, with a cat and mouse helping him the whole time. This one is paired with the saying "don't give the game (or cat) away".

And this is one of the bellboy making mince pies while a cow watches from the window.

What I particularly liked was the small little details involving the mice. Here is one decorating a bauble.

And here is one ready to post mail off.

The advent windows are still at the top of the building as usual, and I was able to get plenty of photos of them at nighttime.

Outside the churchyard was this Christmas tree. Interestingly enough, the lights on it showed up better on my camera during the day than during the night.

Waterstone's was dressed up for Christmas as usual. Though the windows were going through some revamping at the time, they were still able to have this amazing model of Raymond Briggs's Snowman outside on top of the entrance.

They also had a model of the Snowman inside with penguin toys underneath him. Not sure how penguins were able to appear in the Arctic in those films, but they still look cute.

And of course they had the Christmas tree in the Children's books section as always. The sweets are always a nice touch to it, and the reindeer head was a humorous addition. Unfortunately, this is the only good picture I got without people's faces in it where I could easily crop it, but hopefully it still works.

There was also a smaller one, which looked just as lovely with its baubles on.

On a less Christmassy note, they were celebrating the release of the recent Matilda movie with an installation set up to look like Miss Trunchbull's office. Obviously not a place you'd want to visit in real life given her nasty personality, but that chocolate cake looks so yummy. No wonder Bruce Bogtrotter nicked a slice from it.

It was in Waterstone's that I had a hot chocolate with a mince pie brownie. There was more mincemeat in it than chocolate, but it had a nice gooey texture and it was something festive and different to try for a change.

This is both my selection and my Mum's selection together. My hot chocolate did accidentally overflow, but it didn't stop me enjoying it!

After looking round Waterstone's and taking more photos there, we headed out. The Piccadilly angel models were exactly the same as last time, but it didn't stop me from capturing them on camera.

Regent Street also uses the same angel models, but again, it's nice to have a gander at them.

Barbour had a Paddington-themed display, and given my love for the character, I couldn't ignore the opportunity to take photos at all.

On the way to Carnaby Street, I encountered this interesting model of a reindeer in a shop window, so I had to take a photo of that as well.

I've always loved how Carnaby Street looks at Christmas time, but they really topped themselves this year. To celebrate their anniversary, they had a selection of the many different lights they've used over the past years.

There were the marine animals from 2019 and the inspirational quotes from 2020, but they also had the Rolling Stones lips, which I hadn't seen up there before. I particularly liked these giant robin models.

There was also this rather amusing snowman model hanging in the air.

Conduit Street had these very pretty holly decorations. Compared to the other Christmas lights and decorations, they were a lot more modest, but that was partly why they were some of my favourites from this year.

Oxford Street also had modest decorations, in this case the nice star decorations from last year.

The lights on the buildings next to them really helped to add something to them too.

To celebrate their anniversary, John Lewis has been putting up models of teddy bears in their stores, both large and small. The window display in London was particularly impressive, such as with this Christmas tree made up of a stack of them.

There also seemed to be a common pattern of some of the teddy bears tripping over and falling on their backs. This is just one of them.

There were some things I didn't get to take photos of due to running out of time and having a train to catch, such as the Selfridge's store windows, but that can always be visited after Christmas.

This year was pretty chaotic for me, especially with regard to my mental health and anxiety issues. However, there's always something calming about seeing the Christmas lights in London every year, even if the crowds are chaotic and the shops busy. For me, Christmas is about unwinding from the year as a whole and just taking a gander at the world getting dressed up in the festive spirit is one way I do it.

Celebrating 10 Years Of Club Penguin's Operation Blackout

Remember back in 2012 when people thought the world was going to end because of an absurd misunderstanding of how the Mayan Calendar works? People were churning out books, songs and even Minecraft mods based around it, and yet on the 21st December, nothing happened. Which, being a major skeptic of the whole business in the first place, I wasn't surprised at all. Besides, as long as you didn't take the mass hysteria over the whole deal into account, there were absolutely zero signs of this so-called apocalypse about to occur during the "build-up" to it.

...Except in Club Penguin. For about a week, the apocalypse really was coming. And it was the most badass moment in the franchise of all time.

It's exactly ten years since the famous Operation Blackout mission occurred and ended in Club Penguin. Originally planned to last from the 14th November to the 4th December 2022, it received so much positive feedback that it got extended by two days.

The live-action Disney Channel promotions were outright dire and didn't get the whole scope of the mission across. It was just teenagers explaining to each other what you had to do and making it seem like light-hearted fare. The adverts made by the game itself though really let you know what you were in for. It showed that for once, Club Penguin as you knew it was know more and would now go into straight-up dystopia territory.

Essentially, longtime villain Herbert P. Bear, after failing to stop the E.P.F. spy organisation that protects Club Penguin Island, finally proved he was more than a joke villain. He now planned to block out the sun in order to freeze his penguin enemies to death. He'd already made the machine, which was causing an eternal winter to come about the island in response...and he successfully destroyed the E.P.F. base to make sure they couldn't do anything.

Of course, Herbert had ended the P.S.A. (the originally spy organisation) sometime back when he blew up the facilities...with a popcorn bomb. Yep, you read that right. A popcorn bomb. And despite the place looking pretty bad on the inside as a result of the explosion, that was the extent. Barely anyone except the P.S.A. themselves reacted when the explosion happened, and the E.P.F. replaced it soon afterwards anyway. Certainly a far cry from setting another building on fire and having fire engines failing to put it out.

Why Herbert planned to block out the sun and freeze the island over when he himself hates the cold and would have risked death himself is a mystery. I'm guessing though that he was planning to give them an ironic death and was making sure to stay safe in his own lair, so that when the penguins were no more, he could just undo everything and then turn the island into a warm paradise for himself.

Fridge logic aside, the rest of the mission is ingenious. All the other E.P.F. members are being hunted down and being cryogenically frozen in order to stop them from interfering with Herbert's plans. Meanwhile, you as the player have to complete set tasks in order to shut down the machine that Herbert is using to block out the sun. Oh, and the whole time, Herbert has turned the island into a dictatorship where fun is banned and the only play you can watch is of his "life story".

Yes, this all happens in a family-friendly online game. It's both horrifying and amazing at the same time. Both a mixture of dystopia and spy thriller. If you encounter anyone who claims that Club Penguin was just simplistic "kiddie" fair, let them know about this mission and it will help change their mind.

And as for when you do complete the mission? You get treated to an epic cutscene in which sunlight returns to the island, the E.P.F. are freed and Herbert is forced to watch his plans fall apart from a distance. It's not even like the other cutscenes that you received in other missions - it has a genuinely cinematic vibe.

Best of all though? The Director, previously one for hiding their identity, finally reveals themself...and it's none other than Aunt Arctic everyone's favourite agony aunt and the top suspect for being the Director's true identity in the eyes of the fans. It's a wonderful moment, and the voice acting that they chose to add for the scene really heightens it.

In the eyes of many fans, this is where the franchise peaked. The story was brilliant, the gameplay amazing and it really changed the course of the game. It had gone to places it would never have explored beforehand, Herbert was no longer a joke and the Director's identity was no longer hidden. It's kind of a bummer that everything else that happened in the franchise afterwards was just Disney using it to piggyback their own franchises, but the mission still has a positive impression on fans today.

For more discussion on why Operation Blackout was such an awesome moment for Club Penguin from a Club Penguin fan's perspective, I highly recommend checking out YouTuber Keyan Carlile's video essay on the mission and its history here, which really helped give me a new insight into it and goes into depth on the love and talent put into it by the game developers and fans. There are also many fan projects that exist out there linked with it, as well as the walkthroughs that you can watch in case you were unable to play the mission while it was happening.

Deconstructing Masculinity With Boomstick

[Note: This article uses Death Battle! screenshots that were used in previous blog posts of mine, and all rights for them belong to Death Battle! and Rooster Teeth.]

It's World Mental Health Day and I thought about something I could write for it. Keeping in mind that the "Macho Man vs. Kool-Aid" death battle was released on this exact day a year ago and that I am a massive fan of Death Battle itself, I decided to revisit it for inspiration, mainly the plot involving Boomstick getting over his father issues.

I already discussed that particular plotline in a previous blog post of mine, so I don't really need to explore it in full detail again. But there was another thing that stood out about Boomstick as a whole. Death Battle fans all know him as an outright gun nut with a fiery temper, filthy mouth (both with regards to swearwords and sex jokes) and a lust for bloodshed and death. This is mainly because he's a parody of the stereotypical redneck of the Deep South (though fortunately without the racism and bigotry that they are infamously associated with). But there's also another side to him, one that has so many mental health issues and vulnerable moments, as well as someone who pined for a father who never gave a rat's arse about him in the first place. Combining this side with the one he initially presents, it makes him an incredibly complex and messy character, and a highly interesting one at that too.

Which made me think to myself - he's not just a deconstructive parody of rednecks. He's also a deconstructive parody of the concept of toxic masculinity and what it means to be a "man".

And that's why I'm writing this article today. Sure, I'm not a man myself, but being someone who has also struggled through mental illness, I feel that this is something that also relates to mental health. Keep in mind that this is not going to be a proper academic essay on the matter, though I did study critical analysis at university. This is mainly going to be a summary of two things - toxic masculinity as a general thing with regard to mental health, and how Boomstick as a character comes across as a deconstruction of the concepts associated with toxic masculinity, both throughout the series as a whole and in the "Macho Man vs. Kool-Aid Man" episode.

So What's The Deal With Masculinity?

Masculinity is a complex subject matter. Essentially, it's the idea of what defines a "true" man. We can all have our ideas on what that means, but there is ultimately one defined view that most people think of when the idea of a "manly man" comes up.

Western society in particular has cultivated a view on masculinity, dating back to the time of the Greeks. The perfect heroes in their myths and legends are portrayed as dashing, well-built, confident fighters with a bit of a temper who slay the bad guys and get the ladies. Think Hercules, considered the strongest man ever, or Perseus, the guy who slew Medusa, for instance. Of course, looking back at these stories now, they may have been unwittingly deconstructing these ideals, with Achilles' hot temper in The Iliad leading to further problems in the Trojan War, but at face value, this doesn't appear to be the case.

And it's this mentality that has led to the concept of toxic masculinity. Men are expected to not cry or ask for help, as it implies that they are "weak". In fact, the only emotion they really seem to be allowed to have is anger, and they are encouraged to fight in order to preserve this masculinity. They have to have huge muscular bodies and chiselled bodies and not look like "sissy" pretty boys with slender bodies or nerdy "wimps" with spindly bodies. They are seen as "superior" to women and have been allowed to physically, verbally and sexually abuse them in the past in order to assert their dominance (despite changing laws, it sadly still happens today).

This even extends to children's media of all things. Dennis the Menace (the UK one, not the US one) was often depicted picking on "softie" Walter and yet we were supposed to root for Dennis (this is before Walter was revamped into being more of a killjoy who wanted to seem "sophisticated"). Horrid Henry often went out of his way to ruin his more effeminate brother Perfect Peter's life, and yet you were supposed to root for Henry (even though he's legitimately horrid as his name suggests) and not the "whiny" Peter. The idea is that they are promoting the lifestyle of naughty children and that you didn't have to be a "goody two-shoes", but these works only serve to promote the same message - brash masculinity is good, soft effeminacy is bad.

This is all disgusting, to put it bluntly. Crying and asking for help are completely normal behaviours that should be more accepted. In fact, the common situation in the UK of men being more likely to commit suicide than women, despite women being more likely to even attempt it, is likely linked to the idea that men can't show "weakness" and their mental health issues building up as a result. (more information can be found in this Samaritans document here). And as for the whole "sexual prowess" thing, why do you think there were so many cases of sexual abuse in Hollywood and other places? Heck, a lot of convincing articles have even been made for the idea that toxic masculinity played a role in the infamous Oscars 2022 moment where Will Smith slapped Chris Rock in response to a tasteless joke about his wife's alopecia, such as this one written by Ateh Jewel for Glamour and this one written by Shaun Harper for the Los Angeles Times.

Toxic masculinity plays a huge role in mental health problems. When men try to hide their emotions, act “strong” and pretend to be someone else in order to fit in with society, it just ends up breaking them on the inside. They refuse to get help even when it would really suit them, and consequently it leads to worst issues such as lashing out and hurting others or considering suicide. It's dangerous for both them and other people. And yet the media still insists with their depictions of men that this surprisingly harmful mindset is a good thing rather than a bad one.

Fortunately, this is not the case with Boomstick at all. In fact, as my next section will discuss, he pretty exposes the harsh reality of the mindset rather than tries to gloss over it.

How Boomstick Takes A Sledgehammer To This

What is so brilliant about the character of Boomstick, and the main reason he's not only my favourite Death Battle! character of all time, but also one of my favourite characters of all time in general, is just how effectively he deconstructs the concepts of "true" masculinity. Every single aspect associated with what it "means" to be a "man" gets torn apart when applied to him.

It's funny, because the first time he appears, he does appear to be your typical frat boy, albeit, with a violent streak. He drinks beer, he makes perverted comments about women, he has a tattoo and he has muscular arms. There's also not forgetting the fact that he has a moustache, which can be seen as another sign of manliness (depending on the type though - toothbrush moustaches are forever associated with Adolf Hitler and therefore highly condemned nowadays). But overtime, he stops playing the "manly" tropes straight and veers into being a deconstructive parody of a manly man. I don't even know whether this was the intention of the writers or not, but he sure comes across as satirising toxic masculinity to me.

Boomstick in general.

Given the fact that Death Battle is a long-running series and the voice actors tend to improvise, it's hard to tell whether Boomstick's more broken side was planned from the start or just something that gradually made its way into the scripts. Either way, though he takes pride in his manliness, his more broken side will show from time to time. Even when there's no Freudian excuse for his traits, they appear in parodied form, making traits such as a love of violence and sexual habits seem genuinely absurd.

The whole missing father business is just one aspect. There is a prevailing opinion that men need a father figure in their life to help them be more of a man. Boomstick obviously had his father walk out on his family and his stepfathers weren't any better either. This has not helped him at all - not only is a major reason that he became an alcoholic, but he bitterly reminisces on it in several episodes, often to the point of tears. And whenever he tries to make out that he's okay about it, he's clearly not.

The smile says "I'm fine". The tears scream "OH GOD SOMEONE HELP ME".

As a result, there have been moments in which Boomstick has tried to look up to somebody else as a new father figure, particularly one who comes across as "manly". His Top 10 Dads list involves him discussing the ones that he looks up to, and apart from the Greek god Zeus, most of them were pretty good choices. However, his obsession with Sarge during the "Red vs. Blue" episode shows how deluded he is with regard to wanting a new father. He sees him as the epitome of awesomeness for being someone who also likes bloodshed and serves as the leader of his troops, yet RvB fans will know Sarge as a comically deranged nutcase who abuses his subordinates and cannot imagine a life without war, leading to him temporarily betraying his comrades in Season 15. Even worst, it's heavily implied that Sarge IS Boomstick's true dad in this series and could not care less for his son at all.

The excessive drinking is another aspect. Beer is stereotypically seen as a masculine drink, appreciated by frat bros and other men. If a woman is shown drinking beer rather than wine, it's a sign that she's masculine too, even if this isn't necessarily the case in real life. With Boomstick, he takes this to the extremes. His first words were apparently "Beer! Now!", which implies that he first got into it at a RIDICULOUSLY young age, likely because of his daddy issues and his own family being into the stuff in the first place. Let's be real here, that's an extremely inappropriate to get into alcohol at. He has gotten black-out drunk on several occasions and it has led him to carry out ridiculous stunts, such as driving his dune buggy into a lake. The original "Link vs. Cloud" fight implies that his alcoholism may have led to his divorce, or maybe even his MANY divorces. In the "Amy vs. Ramona" preview episodes, he goes on a bender and ends up puking his guts out onto a horrified Wiz, clearly not feeling great at all. Wiz himself shows great disdain for this alcoholism, but seems unable to do anything about it.

There's also the matter of Boomstick's perverted nature. Sure, this was back in the days of the internet when making perverted jokes about women was seen as more harmless, but his sexual comments ultimately come off as ridiculous even back then, with Wiz being confused by the whole matter. One time, he was fine with the idea of dying from a heart attack after seeing Black Orchid's large breasts. Another time, Wiz managed to disgust him by pointing out that Toph Beifong was twelve before he made a joke about "hardening", making him realise how morally messed-up his joke would have been. Then there was the time Wiz won a bet against him because he couldn't make it through Cammy White's rundown without mentioning her arse. Even the subtitles once called him out when he chuckled over the word "climax" when discussing Bayonetta. And yet, despite him bragging about his sexual prowess and (allegedly) large dick size, he legitimately thought his ex-wife's sex toy was a crazy pen in a surprise moment of innocence with regard to sex. Interestingly enough, this trait of his has actually been downplayed in recent years, likely because of a greater backlash against sexual harassment and perverted jokes since the Me Too movement.

Oh, and we can't forget his violent traits either. The fact his name is "Boomstick" pretty much hints at them, and apparently he was trained in martial arts and guns as a child. However, rather than make him out to look badass for loving a good fight, these traits instead show him as incredibly deranged and dangerous to be around. The alcohol in particular serves to heighten them at the worst moments. He has confessed to killing a magician and a clown in self-defence in the past, despite the heavy implications that they weren't planning anything suspicious at all. In the infamous Sol Badguy preview, he shoots Wiz's robot dog due to throwing a fit over the whole business with That Man, with the "Ragna vs. Sol Badguy" episode emphasising how over-the-top this reaction was. In fact, the third Death Race episode reveals that he has a warrant on his head in all fifty states of America due to his obsession with violence, something that he would prefer not to talk about.

Leading on from that is his hot temper. Besides the whole business with the robot dog, Boomstick's anger has led to several other awkward moments. When throwing a hissy fit BECAUSE Wiz mentioned his hot temper in "Flash vs. Quicksilver", he storms off, only to trip over something and hurt his balls, much to Wiz's amusement. His arguments with Jocelyn just emphasise how much of a dreadful boss he is towards her and you ultimately end up siding with her in the arguments rather than him. Hot-blooded men in fiction are normally shown as cool badasses who refuse to be messed with, but here, Boomstick's hot temper makes him come across as childish and even a danger to others. In a way, this is pretty much the reality of having a foul temper or lashing out at the wrong moment. As I mentioned earlier, the Oscars 2022 slap is fine proof of it, as are Sean Penn and Alec Baldwin's real life moments of angry ranting.

If anything, the more "effeminate" and "weak" aspects of Boomstick serve as redeeming points for him. He has confessed to having a therapist, though whether they are actually helpful towards him is a questionable point. The moments in which he cries, especially if it's to do with his father, show how vulnerable he really is, but they also serve to humanise him whenever a tragic incident happens to another character, such as with the death of Bell-mere in One Piece or the depressing outcome of the "Tanjiro vs. Jonathan" death battle. In contrast, Wiz, who very rarely cries and gets startled by some of Boomstick's more violent crying fits, is mainly the resident stoic (and a geek rather than a "manly man" to boot) who tries to appear sane in order to cover up his more deranged side. Oh, and he's a cyborg too, which puts his less emotional behaviour in a particularly interesting light.

Boomstick's relationship with women is also an interesting thing to explore. He has a perverted mindset, trash talks his ex-wives and mistreats Jocelyn the Intern. However, episodes like "Goro vs. Machamp" imply that for all his trash-talking, he's actually a lot more upset about his inability to stay married than he lets on. Meanwhile, whilst he is depicted with a disturbing crush on the sadistic Esdeath in her death battle, he has shown sense when it comes to potential future wives in the "Top 10 Waifus" episode. Not all of his choices are sexualised characters and most of them are outright heroic and kind-hearted women, with even Mystique coming across as sympathetic. There's also the fact they go across the whole spectrum from being more conventionally feminine to pretty masculine, but there's no denying how capable they are, especially if they can fight well. Most misogynists out there wouldn't dream of pursuing a woman who can at least win one arm-wrestling watch.

And then there's his relationship with his mother, who he looks up to greatly. His tattoo is even a heart with her name written on it. Usually, being a "momma's boy" is seen as a sign of a man being a wimp, but this trait once again simply shows that there's more to Boomstick than him being a loud gun nut. Especially since she's the only original character in Death Battle that he hasn't had any conflict with - he bickers with the other hosts often and he loves to beat up on DUMMI, making his connection with his mother stand out all the more for it.

The "Macho Man vs. Kool-Aid Man" episode.

So that's how Boomstick's masculinity gets explored in general. The "Macho Man vs. Kool-Aid Man" episode explores the whole thing further, especially when Macho Man gets involved. The man himself, when it comes to masculinity, comes across as both the idealistic opposite of Boomstick as well as the guy he probably strives to be.

For those who have absolutely zero wrestling knowledge (to be fair, I'm not that much of a wrestling fan myself and had to do quite a bit of research for this section), Macho Man is the alternative name of Randy Savage (real name Randall Mario Poffo), one of the most famous wrestlers associated with the World Wrestling Federation (WWE). With his charismatic and flamboyant personality, outrageous fashion style and just outright manliness, he was a major favourite with the crowds. He was often associated with Hulk Hogan, another WWE face with a macho all-American image, and in the 80s, was one of the few people who rivaled him in popularity. He won 18 different titles and in general had a 70.2% win rate in his 2,104 matches. He was also well-known for his passionate romance with the equally talented wrestler and manager Miss Elizabeth, and their onstage wedding was a major moment in his career. No wonder he ended up being posthumously inducted into the WWE Hall of Fame as a headliner in 2015.

In real life, there have been plenty of scandals associated with WWE and wrestling in general. The famed Attitude era is looked back on as a time of toxic masculinity and questionable sexist behaviour, such as when then WWE owner Vince McMahon ordered Trish Stratus to strip her clothes off and bark like a dog (something that was just seen as his "bad boss" gimmick at the time), or some of the comments that Jerry Lawler made about the female anatomy or calling Molly Holly old and ugly during her down period after having her hair shaved and being forced to wear a tacky wig. For a while, when it came to female wrestlers, there was more of an emphasis on how good they looked rather than any talent they actually had. There have also been the matter of the same sex scandals that you get in other places such as Hollywood - recently, McMahon got accused of sexual misconduct himself and had to step down from his position as a result.

There's also the matter of the deaths of famous wrestlers linked with drugs, whether due to overdoses or heart attacks linked with past addictions, especially during the Ruthless Aggression era. Most the drugs were performance-enhancing ones such as steroids, designed to beef up the body and help in the ring, though there were others used such as alcohol. Examples of drug-related deaths include Reid Flair, Louie Spicolli and most notably Eddie Guerrero, who had gone clean but ultimately died from heart failure caused by past drug addictions. In a particularly nasty situation, Chris Benoit was found with steroids and other drugs in his system after he first killed his family and then himself. Though a strict drug testing programme has been implemented since then, it still doesn't eradicate the memories of these incidents and the fact that Flair died in 2013 shows that the problem hasn't quite gone away. The Wrestler Deaths website has plenty more examples of wrestlers who died from drug overdoses.

Of course, that's not what we're presented with when we watch wrestling (even if the situation with McMahon and Trish was shown onscreen). We're presented with badass, well-built champions and cool wrestling moves. And it's pretty much what Boomstick gets presented with when him and Macho Man finally meet each other.

If Macho Man represents everything awesome about masculinity, then Boomstick represents everything repulsive about it, only without the misogyny, rape and transphobia that also comes with it. Macho Man is buff, charismatic and a world-famous superstar, and he can also rock a nifty beard. Boomstick also has pretty muscular arms, but appears to have a beer belly, has scruffy facial hair and can barely keep a relationship. Macho Man oozes confidence with his onstage persona, but Boomstick is prone to having emotional breakdowns whenever his own mask of confidence shatters.

Boomstick is more than determined to accept the idea that Macho Man was his true father all along, despite evidence being very clear that this isn't the case. The main reason is likely that he sees him as the type of man he wants to be and looks up to. After all, if you can't be like someone else you admire, you might as well form connections with them in one way or another in order to improve your own reputation. Alternatively, it could be interpreted that he's ashamed of his own sense of masculinity and feels that by accepting him as a father figure, he can project Macho Man onto himself in order to gain at least some confidence.

Does this attitude work? No. Macho Man makes it clear that he's not his father, shattering his hopes. He has another one of his temper tantrums, snapping out at even the combatants, which I doubt did him any favours in Randy's eyes. And then I guess something happened during the screen transition that REALLY did a number on him. By the time Boomstick reaches his mother's house, he's essentially scared and broken, lacking any of the bravado he had beforehand. It's a far cry from the guy who, when he first appeared in the series, was obsessed with using his gun, made sexual comments about the ladies and took delight in nearly all the violent deaths he witnessed. You'd think that they were two completely different characters.

To really seal the deal, it's Boomstick's mother who turns out to be his savior. Once he relates the problem regarding the search for his father to her, she's able to help him realise that things are better than they seem to be. And it really does wonders for Boomstick during this moment. Around her, he can easily show off his more vulnerable side and not be judged for it. He can show affection, cry and accept advice from her, stuff that toxic masculinity discourages but in reality is something we all need to do at some point.

And by accepting his own mental health issues regarding his father and allowing himself to have this vulnerable moment, Boomstick comes out all the better for it. He gains back the boisterous personality he's had for most of the series, but it doesn't come across as a mask for his own issues anymore. Considering this outcome, is it any wonder that releasing this episode on the 10th October, Mental Health Awareness Day (even if the original reason was to celebrate the show’s 10th anniversary), makes so much sense?

Obviously this won't completely fix Boomstick's state of mind. He still has a love of violence, an obsession with beer, a perverted nature and a foul temper, but in this moment, he did manage to get the advice he needed and therefore move on from a major issue that was wreaking havoc his mental health. And it's quite likely that, if he has more moments like these in the future, with him allowing himself to get emotional and having someone to help him through his issues, he'll probably get closer to further recovery...

...Which is exactly what other men with similar issues need to be doing in real life. Just pretending to be tough, hiding emotions and refusing to rely on other people just makes mental health issues related to toxic masculinity worse. Allowing yourself to show emotion, cry and ask for help will stop that from happening and instead help to improve things. It's fortunately something that is starting to happen in our modern society, but it's still a long way before the situation truly improves.

At this point, it's time for masculinity as a concept to be redefined completely. Our society may try and claim that "boys don't cry", but in the words of Malorie Blackman's novel Boys Don't Cry (named sarcastically in this case), "real men do". And the same goes with other aspects of toxic masculinity - they're simply a sign of immaturity, whilst the other things it tries to discourage against are the true signs of maturity and a mentally healthy mindset. After all, it's not important at all to be a man who tries to fit in with society's unhealthy demands, and it's more important to be a man who can be true to himself and rely on others and be a happier person as a whole in response. That's what true strength and masculinity is really about.

The Top 7 Nitrome Characters I'd LOVE To See In Death Battle!

[NOTE: All screenshots of the characters come from Nitrome's own games. Some either came from the original games themselves, or had to be screen-capped from other videos due to Flash not working anymore on them.]

So Shovel Knight Dig has now been released, and I couldn't be happier. The first Shovel Knight game is a classic with a brilliant cast of characters and several shout outs to the old NES era of video games. Being someone who's into works that pay homage to their older forms and have great characters I can root for, it's no wonder that it's one of my favourite modern games out there.

But the thing that really grabbed my interest about the game's sequel is that Yacht Club Games co-developed it with the British indie game company Nitrome. Nostalgia pretty much hit me when I found that out. I grew up with the Nitrome games long before getting into the international brands such as Nintendo. Plenty of them are parodies and homages to video games that already exist, but with a unique twist to them. And they have an interesting style and sense of humour to them too.

Shovel Knight was already in Death Battle, but before this game even went into conception. Otherwise, no Nitrome character has ever appeared in a fight. And I would really like it if they were. Some have interesting fighting styles, some have interesting concepts and some are just entertaining in their own right. Additionally, given their homage statuses, it could be fascinating to watch them fight the characters they were originally based on.

So here is a list of seven Nitrome characters who I would be delighted to see in Death Battle if they get the chance to do so. Hopefully this gives people an idea on what kind of games they release and just why I fell in love with these games in the first place. I will also try to hypothesise who they could go up against and whether my matchup choices are actually good ideas or not. Without further ado, let's begin!

7. Canary 214-LE from Canary.

In this surprisingly creepy game, this little worker was supposed to help his company mine for crystals and other valuable resources on an asteroid they had colonised, before aliens invaded and corrupted the other canaries via their own equipment. Despite being a rookie, Canary 214-LE was forced to fight for his life as things spiralled out of controlled.

Like the other canaries, he comes with the standard canary mining equipment and suit. He carries a laser gun that he can use to cut through rocks (very handy considering his size) and kill enemies, though he cannot keep it on too long in case it overheats. He even comes equipped with a jetpack so he can cut rock in higher places and just fly about the colony itself, even into space.

I doubt that this little guy has had any fighting experience beforehand, and the hazards he has to face are either almost his size or much larger than him. And yet he still manages to prevail. Also, it might be because he's one of those protagonists who doesn't talk, but he seems to manage to make his way through without having a visible freak-out of some kind, despite the horrors he encounters. He may have been panicking on the inside, but he doesn't let it get in the way of escaping. Now THAT'S having some real guts right there.

Potential Opponents: Survival horror is the genre I associate this game with, so maybe a hapless worker who has had to survive some horrifying event. Alternatively, Drogoz from Paladins is a miner who wears a jetpack and searches for crystals, so there are some similarities there (though their personalities and backstories are completely different).

6. Blue from Test Subject Blue.

Blue in his pro-suit.

Blue is a fascinating little creature. He's an enzyme that is currently being tested by his creator, a scientist named Professor Egghead, in order to see how he reacts to dangers such as other enzymes. Unfortunately, the scientist's evil rival Dr. Nefarious ends up raiding the lab in order to take Blue for himself, leading to Blue having to go on an arduous journey to stop him and possibly save the world.

Blue has two exosuits that he moves around in. The first one is the proto-suit, which allows him to shoot proton bullets and either jump or crouch to avoid danger. It's also capable of creating a proton beam, if Test Subject Arena is any indication. The second one is Rex209, which shoots at a faster pace and can walk on ceilings at the cost of speed and mobility. It can even can talk. Both suits are fragile, but more than make up for it with their offenses.

For the sake of anyone who has not played the games yet, I will not spoil a major plot twist surrounding the little guy himself, but I will say that there is more to his powers than you would expect and essentially involve healing (though he can't heal himself). It also means that another character who he has a deep connection with could also be a potential fighter I'd like to see in Death Battle, but again, I won't give away spoilers.

Potential Opponents: Another tiny creature, preferably one in their own mini mech suit. For the character I'm not spoiling, maybe someone like them who has a similar occupation and had good intentions that went aury due to the mechanations of the villains.

5. Hazmat Hero from Toxic.

Also known as Toxic after the title of his own game, this character is exactly what you'd expect. He goes around in a hazmat suit fighting against evil robots that have taken over our world, all be infiltrating the factories they come from and taking them out there. Some of the robots are particularly challenging, including one that jumps over your head several times during your boss fight with it in the second game.

He has an access to a variety of bombs - some are normal, some create large explosions, some drill through the ground, some stick to surfaces and some create multiple explosions. Overall, whilst it seems that he is limited to just one type of weapon, the different functions that it has more than makes up for this.

Obviously, Hazmat Hero is not invincible. After all, falling in acid can kill him and he can be hurt by the robots. But the hazmat suit I presume protects him from the toxic gases in the factories from the green acid and he has been shown to capable of dodging green lasers. Ultimately, for someone with only a hazmat suit and bombs for defense, he's capable of achieving quite a lot.

Potential Opponents: Someone who also attacks with bombs. Elements of this series, most notably the Mother Brain character, seem to be inspired by Metroid, but I wouldn't choose Samus Aran as an opponent myself because I feel she might have too much of an advantage. Caustic from Apex Legends also has a poison gas theme with his protective suit and drops explosives (in his case, toxic gas grenades), but the backstories and personalities for the characters are again drastically different, so I don't know. It would be interesting though to see a good guy go up against someone who skirts the line between hero and villain.

4. Dirk Valentine from Dirk Valentine and the Fortress of Steam.

Steampunk has always been a favourite genre of mine, so naturally I was drawn to a character with that vibe. Dirk Valentine is an ace soldier, spy and adventurer who aids the British empire in fighting against Baron Battenberg and his steam-powered war machines. Essentially, he's a renaissance man who's able to keep up a stiff upper lip like any good steampunk-inspired Brit should.

He's got a pretty interesting weapon too - the chain cannon. Created by the genius inventor Monty, the chain cannon not only allows Valentine to attack his enemies, but also to create bridges that he can walk across. When attacking his enemies, the chains essentially turn into projectiles that are strong enough to take out robot soldiers and giant floating mechs capable of shooting projectiles themselves.

Also, he saved freaking Queen Victoria. I mean, how impressive is that? Thanks to him, the Baron was defeated and Britain was able to take on his remaining forces. If that's not an impressive feat for a gentleman general like Dirk, I don't know what else is.

Potential Opponents: Another steampunk general. Alternatively, Henry Hatsworth is also a quintessential British gentleman like him who has fought against mechs and mech suits in his own game. And they both like their tea. Whatever fight he ends up in, I want it to be as stereotypically British as possible. ;)

3. Austin Carter (plus Justin Bennett) from Nitrome Must Die!.

Austin and Justin. Justin is on the left and Austin is on the right.

You know those online trolls who get super pissy if a work doesn't do things the way they want? Well, goth wannabe Austin Carter is one of those, having an irrational hatred of the Nitrome company due to their games being too difficult for his tastes. But he goes a step further than most trolls - he heads over to the headquarters and ACTIVELY GOES OUT OF HIS WAY TO TAKE THEM DOWN. Oh, and he brought his fellow internet troll and Kenny McCormick lookalike Justin Bennett along for the ride too.

Austin may be a simple everyday cynic and killjoy without any superpowers, but thanks to discovering some guns in the bins outside the headquarters before heading in, he's got a sweet arsenal at his disposition. He's got shotguns, a bow and arrow, even a gun that shoots tiny drills. Whatever the situation is, he nearly always has a solution for it in the form of murder and violence.

Throughout his rampage, he took down quite a few major Nitrome characters. For instance, he defeated a mecha equivalent of Godzilla, which is about ten times his height and is powerful enough to destroy buildings in Tokyo much bigger than it is, if its origin game Rubble Trouble Tokyo is any indication. He also took out the moon from Cheese Dreams while it was possessed by the titular Parasite and even a giant robotic nose shooting out living snot balls (yes, there is context). And of course, he fought the CEO of Nitrome while the latter was in a mech, highlighting how serious he was in his quest to take down the company.

In short, he's a character Nitrome fans love to hate. And considering that Death Battle has a reputation for some rather vocal fans getting pissed off whenever a fight doesn't go their way, it would be interesting to witness Wiz and Boomstick discussing Austin in that light. The same goes for Justin too.

Potential Opponents: Another hardcore internet troll or hater. Any of the trolls from Homestuck could do, since he seems to be inspired by them and they also have a love for violence and hate. Plus, given the types of characters that Austin has defeated, he could probably fight against the trolls easily. Alternatively, Wascot from Monday Night Combat, who is a deranged fanboy intend on killing the mascot Bullseye and has a gun that shoots out explosive projectiles.

2. Takeshi from Final Ninja.

Takeshi's story is pretty deep by Nitrome standards. Sometime in the future, when corporate businesses are at war with each other, he was training to becoming a ninja for one of these businesses, run by Akuma. But on what was supposed to be simply his first mission, he ended up having to face off against the diabolical Maxwell Merlock and his partner Dr. Victor Boshi.

His ninja suit allows him to shoot out ninja stars to harm his enemies from a distance, shoot out wires to swing from and even turn invisible whilst stationary. He can even take on the guise of another character if he really needs too. Those ninjas stars are pretty versatile too - they don't just blow up machines, they can even allow Takashi to control certain enemy drones and turn them against his opponents.

Later on, despite becoming an old man, Takeshi has clearly taken a level in skill and power. When he tried to leave for a quiet life and Akuma set his forces on him, he was able to defeat them all with ease. And when donning the ninja suit once more to take out Akuma once and for all, he was able to defeat his forces and two robots BY HIMSELF. Quite a far cry from when he first started out and needed a bit of help from Akuma's forces and Lady Snow Fox.

Potential Opponents: Another ninja who has probably also grown old and jaded with his original profession. Solid Snake from Metal Gear Solid could also be an interesting choice - he's not a ninja, but he also relies on stealth and has become jaded over the years. Additionally, Final Ninja is inspired by certain elements from the Metal Gear franchise, so meeting up with his game's inspiration could make sense to Takeshi in some ways. Snake might have a major advantage though.

1. The Climber from Frostbite and Thin Ice.

Both cute AND badass, the Climber hunts down creatures and climbs mountains, and is a computer game character I have grown up with my whole life. She's essentially a combination of Popo and Nana from Ice Climbers, combining Popo's outer appearance with Nana's gender. But she doesn't go for the straight-forward and basic approach of a simple large hammer. Instead, her main weapon of choice is a grappling hook that allows her to climb mountains more easily and give her the field advantage whenever she has to participate in a boss fight. The grappling hook has also allowed her to shoot down enemies and even rip out the eyeball of a giant cyclops ram creature (quite gory for such a cute-looking game). When not using her grappling hook though, she likes to go ice-skating on frozen lakes and use them to create holes to sink monsters into.

She's traversed twenty mountains and twenty frozen lakes, defeating monsters such as the aforementioned cyclops monster, a giant caterpillar creature that she tore various segments off, a giant woolly rhino and a giant (notice a pattern?) ape creature that can summon bats and troll-like critters. Oh, and did I also mention that the rhino and ape creature were defeated simply by jumping onto them about four times?! Not only is the Climber an ace with her grappling hook, but she's super strong with her feet considering her height as well.

Also, this was the first ever "playing as a girl" plot twist I ever came across in a game, which was always something that remained with me. Plus, unlike Samus Aran (no offence here, I love her character too), the Climber has not fallen into the pitfalls of being sexualised or being "softened" in an insulting manner for a later game (goddamnit Other M, you stupid game). She's still the same adventurer who likes to hunt monsters and conquer mountains.

Potential Opponents: As mentioned, Popo (or possibly Nana) from Ice Climber. It would be an interesting long-range versus short-range fight and I can imagine them duking it out as they race to reach the top of a mountain.

These are just the ones I have chosen so far, due to some others have having finicky and complicated powers that may not translate so well to death battles, but there are plenty more Nitrome games and characters out there. I highly recommend you check them out on this website here - some of the games are still only available in Flash, but some have been converted to HTML5 for now. I also recommend going on the Nitrome wiki to watch embedded playthroughs of some of the games, as well as this video here in order to listen to the awesome music from the franchise (thanks to Veezenn for uploading these songs!). :)