Deconstructing Masculinity With Boomstick

[Note: This article uses Death Battle! screenshots that were used in previous blog posts of mine, and all rights for them belong to Death Battle! and Rooster Teeth.]

It's World Mental Health Day and I thought about something I could write for it. Keeping in mind that the "Macho Man vs. Kool-Aid" death battle was released on this exact day a year ago and that I am a massive fan of Death Battle itself, I decided to revisit it for inspiration, mainly the plot involving Boomstick getting over his father issues.

I already discussed that particular plotline in a previous blog post of mine, so I don't really need to explore it in full detail again. But there was another thing that stood out about Boomstick as a whole. Death Battle fans all know him as an outright gun nut with a fiery temper, filthy mouth (both with regards to swearwords and sex jokes) and a lust for bloodshed and death. This is mainly because he's a parody of the stereotypical redneck of the Deep South (though fortunately without the racism and bigotry that they are infamously associated with). But there's also another side to him, one that has so many mental health issues and vulnerable moments, as well as someone who pined for a father who never gave a rat's arse about him in the first place. Combining this side with the one he initially presents, it makes him an incredibly complex and messy character, and a highly interesting one at that too.

Which made me think to myself - he's not just a deconstructive parody of rednecks. He's also a deconstructive parody of the concept of toxic masculinity and what it means to be a "man".

And that's why I'm writing this article today. Sure, I'm not a man myself, but being someone who has also struggled through mental illness, I feel that this is something that also relates to mental health. Keep in mind that this is not going to be a proper academic essay on the matter, though I did study critical analysis at university. This is mainly going to be a summary of two things - toxic masculinity as a general thing with regard to mental health, and how Boomstick as a character comes across as a deconstruction of the concepts associated with toxic masculinity, both throughout the series as a whole and in the "Macho Man vs. Kool-Aid Man" episode.

So What's The Deal With Masculinity?

Masculinity is a complex subject matter. Essentially, it's the idea of what defines a "true" man. We can all have our ideas on what that means, but there is ultimately one defined view that most people think of when the idea of a "manly man" comes up.

Western society in particular has cultivated a view on masculinity, dating back to the time of the Greeks. The perfect heroes in their myths and legends are portrayed as dashing, well-built, confident fighters with a bit of a temper who slay the bad guys and get the ladies. Think Hercules, considered the strongest man ever, or Perseus, the guy who slew Medusa, for instance. Of course, looking back at these stories now, they may have been unwittingly deconstructing these ideals, with Achilles' hot temper in The Iliad leading to further problems in the Trojan War, but at face value, this doesn't appear to be the case.

And it's this mentality that has led to the concept of toxic masculinity. Men are expected to not cry or ask for help, as it implies that they are "weak". In fact, the only emotion they really seem to be allowed to have is anger, and they are encouraged to fight in order to preserve this masculinity. They have to have huge muscular bodies and chiselled bodies and not look like "sissy" pretty boys with slender bodies or nerdy "wimps" with spindly bodies. They are seen as "superior" to women and have been allowed to physically, verbally and sexually abuse them in the past in order to assert their dominance (despite changing laws, it sadly still happens today).

This even extends to children's media of all things. Dennis the Menace (the UK one, not the US one) was often depicted picking on "softie" Walter and yet we were supposed to root for Dennis (this is before Walter was revamped into being more of a killjoy who wanted to seem "sophisticated"). Horrid Henry often went out of his way to ruin his more effeminate brother Perfect Peter's life, and yet you were supposed to root for Henry (even though he's legitimately horrid as his name suggests) and not the "whiny" Peter. The idea is that they are promoting the lifestyle of naughty children and that you didn't have to be a "goody two-shoes", but these works only serve to promote the same message - brash masculinity is good, soft effeminacy is bad.

This is all disgusting, to put it bluntly. Crying and asking for help are completely normal behaviours that should be more accepted. In fact, the common situation in the UK of men being more likely to commit suicide than women, despite women being more likely to even attempt it, is likely linked to the idea that men can't show "weakness" and their mental health issues building up as a result. (more information can be found in this Samaritans document here). And as for the whole "sexual prowess" thing, why do you think there were so many cases of sexual abuse in Hollywood and other places? Heck, a lot of convincing articles have even been made for the idea that toxic masculinity played a role in the infamous Oscars 2022 moment where Will Smith slapped Chris Rock in response to a tasteless joke about his wife's alopecia, such as this one written by Ateh Jewel for Glamour and this one written by Shaun Harper for the Los Angeles Times.

Toxic masculinity plays a huge role in mental health problems. When men try to hide their emotions, act “strong” and pretend to be someone else in order to fit in with society, it just ends up breaking them on the inside. They refuse to get help even when it would really suit them, and consequently it leads to worst issues such as lashing out and hurting others or considering suicide. It's dangerous for both them and other people. And yet the media still insists with their depictions of men that this surprisingly harmful mindset is a good thing rather than a bad one.

Fortunately, this is not the case with Boomstick at all. In fact, as my next section will discuss, he pretty exposes the harsh reality of the mindset rather than tries to gloss over it.

How Boomstick Takes A Sledgehammer To This

What is so brilliant about the character of Boomstick, and the main reason he's not only my favourite Death Battle! character of all time, but also one of my favourite characters of all time in general, is just how effectively he deconstructs the concepts of "true" masculinity. Every single aspect associated with what it "means" to be a "man" gets torn apart when applied to him.

It's funny, because the first time he appears, he does appear to be your typical frat boy, albeit, with a violent streak. He drinks beer, he makes perverted comments about women, he has a tattoo and he has muscular arms. There's also not forgetting the fact that he has a moustache, which can be seen as another sign of manliness (depending on the type though - toothbrush moustaches are forever associated with Adolf Hitler and therefore highly condemned nowadays). But overtime, he stops playing the "manly" tropes straight and veers into being a deconstructive parody of a manly man. I don't even know whether this was the intention of the writers or not, but he sure comes across as satirising toxic masculinity to me.

Boomstick in general.

Given the fact that Death Battle is a long-running series and the voice actors tend to improvise, it's hard to tell whether Boomstick's more broken side was planned from the start or just something that gradually made its way into the scripts. Either way, though he takes pride in his manliness, his more broken side will show from time to time. Even when there's no Freudian excuse for his traits, they appear in parodied form, making traits such as a love of violence and sexual habits seem genuinely absurd.

The whole missing father business is just one aspect. There is a prevailing opinion that men need a father figure in their life to help them be more of a man. Boomstick obviously had his father walk out on his family and his stepfathers weren't any better either. This has not helped him at all - not only is a major reason that he became an alcoholic, but he bitterly reminisces on it in several episodes, often to the point of tears. And whenever he tries to make out that he's okay about it, he's clearly not.

The smile says "I'm fine". The tears scream "OH GOD SOMEONE HELP ME".

As a result, there have been moments in which Boomstick has tried to look up to somebody else as a new father figure, particularly one who comes across as "manly". His Top 10 Dads list involves him discussing the ones that he looks up to, and apart from the Greek god Zeus, most of them were pretty good choices. However, his obsession with Sarge during the "Red vs. Blue" episode shows how deluded he is with regard to wanting a new father. He sees him as the epitome of awesomeness for being someone who also likes bloodshed and serves as the leader of his troops, yet RvB fans will know Sarge as a comically deranged nutcase who abuses his subordinates and cannot imagine a life without war, leading to him temporarily betraying his comrades in Season 15. Even worst, it's heavily implied that Sarge IS Boomstick's true dad in this series and could not care less for his son at all.

The excessive drinking is another aspect. Beer is stereotypically seen as a masculine drink, appreciated by frat bros and other men. If a woman is shown drinking beer rather than wine, it's a sign that she's masculine too, even if this isn't necessarily the case in real life. With Boomstick, he takes this to the extremes. His first words were apparently "Beer! Now!", which implies that he first got into it at a RIDICULOUSLY young age, likely because of his daddy issues and his own family being into the stuff in the first place. Let's be real here, that's an extremely inappropriate to get into alcohol at. He has gotten black-out drunk on several occasions and it has led him to carry out ridiculous stunts, such as driving his dune buggy into a lake. The original "Link vs. Cloud" fight implies that his alcoholism may have led to his divorce, or maybe even his MANY divorces. In the "Amy vs. Ramona" preview episodes, he goes on a bender and ends up puking his guts out onto a horrified Wiz, clearly not feeling great at all. Wiz himself shows great disdain for this alcoholism, but seems unable to do anything about it.

There's also the matter of Boomstick's perverted nature. Sure, this was back in the days of the internet when making perverted jokes about women was seen as more harmless, but his sexual comments ultimately come off as ridiculous even back then, with Wiz being confused by the whole matter. One time, he was fine with the idea of dying from a heart attack after seeing Black Orchid's large breasts. Another time, Wiz managed to disgust him by pointing out that Toph Beifong was twelve before he made a joke about "hardening", making him realise how morally messed-up his joke would have been. Then there was the time Wiz won a bet against him because he couldn't make it through Cammy White's rundown without mentioning her arse. Even the subtitles once called him out when he chuckled over the word "climax" when discussing Bayonetta. And yet, despite him bragging about his sexual prowess and (allegedly) large dick size, he legitimately thought his ex-wife's sex toy was a crazy pen in a surprise moment of innocence with regard to sex. Interestingly enough, this trait of his has actually been downplayed in recent years, likely because of a greater backlash against sexual harassment and perverted jokes since the Me Too movement.

Oh, and we can't forget his violent traits either. The fact his name is "Boomstick" pretty much hints at them, and apparently he was trained in martial arts and guns as a child. However, rather than make him out to look badass for loving a good fight, these traits instead show him as incredibly deranged and dangerous to be around. The alcohol in particular serves to heighten them at the worst moments. He has confessed to killing a magician and a clown in self-defence in the past, despite the heavy implications that they weren't planning anything suspicious at all. In the infamous Sol Badguy preview, he shoots Wiz's robot dog due to throwing a fit over the whole business with That Man, with the "Ragna vs. Sol Badguy" episode emphasising how over-the-top this reaction was. In fact, the third Death Race episode reveals that he has a warrant on his head in all fifty states of America due to his obsession with violence, something that he would prefer not to talk about.

Leading on from that is his hot temper. Besides the whole business with the robot dog, Boomstick's anger has led to several other awkward moments. When throwing a hissy fit BECAUSE Wiz mentioned his hot temper in "Flash vs. Quicksilver", he storms off, only to trip over something and hurt his balls, much to Wiz's amusement. His arguments with Jocelyn just emphasise how much of a dreadful boss he is towards her and you ultimately end up siding with her in the arguments rather than him. Hot-blooded men in fiction are normally shown as cool badasses who refuse to be messed with, but here, Boomstick's hot temper makes him come across as childish and even a danger to others. In a way, this is pretty much the reality of having a foul temper or lashing out at the wrong moment. As I mentioned earlier, the Oscars 2022 slap is fine proof of it, as are Sean Penn and Alec Baldwin's real life moments of angry ranting.

If anything, the more "effeminate" and "weak" aspects of Boomstick serve as redeeming points for him. He has confessed to having a therapist, though whether they are actually helpful towards him is a questionable point. The moments in which he cries, especially if it's to do with his father, show how vulnerable he really is, but they also serve to humanise him whenever a tragic incident happens to another character, such as with the death of Bell-mere in One Piece or the depressing outcome of the "Tanjiro vs. Jonathan" death battle. In contrast, Wiz, who very rarely cries and gets startled by some of Boomstick's more violent crying fits, is mainly the resident stoic (and a geek rather than a "manly man" to boot) who tries to appear sane in order to cover up his more deranged side. Oh, and he's a cyborg too, which puts his less emotional behaviour in a particularly interesting light.

Boomstick's relationship with women is also an interesting thing to explore. He has a perverted mindset, trash talks his ex-wives and mistreats Jocelyn the Intern. However, episodes like "Goro vs. Machamp" imply that for all his trash-talking, he's actually a lot more upset about his inability to stay married than he lets on. Meanwhile, whilst he is depicted with a disturbing crush on the sadistic Esdeath in her death battle, he has shown sense when it comes to potential future wives in the "Top 10 Waifus" episode. Not all of his choices are sexualised characters and most of them are outright heroic and kind-hearted women, with even Mystique coming across as sympathetic. There's also the fact they go across the whole spectrum from being more conventionally feminine to pretty masculine, but there's no denying how capable they are, especially if they can fight well. Most misogynists out there wouldn't dream of pursuing a woman who can at least win one arm-wrestling watch.

And then there's his relationship with his mother, who he looks up to greatly. His tattoo is even a heart with her name written on it. Usually, being a "momma's boy" is seen as a sign of a man being a wimp, but this trait once again simply shows that there's more to Boomstick than him being a loud gun nut. Especially since she's the only original character in Death Battle that he hasn't had any conflict with - he bickers with the other hosts often and he loves to beat up on DUMMI, making his connection with his mother stand out all the more for it.

The "Macho Man vs. Kool-Aid Man" episode.

So that's how Boomstick's masculinity gets explored in general. The "Macho Man vs. Kool-Aid Man" episode explores the whole thing further, especially when Macho Man gets involved. The man himself, when it comes to masculinity, comes across as both the idealistic opposite of Boomstick as well as the guy he probably strives to be.

For those who have absolutely zero wrestling knowledge (to be fair, I'm not that much of a wrestling fan myself and had to do quite a bit of research for this section), Macho Man is the alternative name of Randy Savage (real name Randall Mario Poffo), one of the most famous wrestlers associated with the World Wrestling Federation (WWE). With his charismatic and flamboyant personality, outrageous fashion style and just outright manliness, he was a major favourite with the crowds. He was often associated with Hulk Hogan, another WWE face with a macho all-American image, and in the 80s, was one of the few people who rivaled him in popularity. He won 18 different titles and in general had a 70.2% win rate in his 2,104 matches. He was also well-known for his passionate romance with the equally talented wrestler and manager Miss Elizabeth, and their onstage wedding was a major moment in his career. No wonder he ended up being posthumously inducted into the WWE Hall of Fame as a headliner in 2015.

In real life, there have been plenty of scandals associated with WWE and wrestling in general. The famed Attitude era is looked back on as a time of toxic masculinity and questionable sexist behaviour, such as when then WWE owner Vince McMahon ordered Trish Stratus to strip her clothes off and bark like a dog (something that was just seen as his "bad boss" gimmick at the time), or some of the comments that Jerry Lawler made about the female anatomy or calling Molly Holly old and ugly during her down period after having her hair shaved and being forced to wear a tacky wig. For a while, when it came to female wrestlers, there was more of an emphasis on how good they looked rather than any talent they actually had. There have also been the matter of the same sex scandals that you get in other places such as Hollywood - recently, McMahon got accused of sexual misconduct himself and had to step down from his position as a result.

There's also the matter of the deaths of famous wrestlers linked with drugs, whether due to overdoses or heart attacks linked with past addictions, especially during the Ruthless Aggression era. Most the drugs were performance-enhancing ones such as steroids, designed to beef up the body and help in the ring, though there were others used such as alcohol. Examples of drug-related deaths include Reid Flair, Louie Spicolli and most notably Eddie Guerrero, who had gone clean but ultimately died from heart failure caused by past drug addictions. In a particularly nasty situation, Chris Benoit was found with steroids and other drugs in his system after he first killed his family and then himself. Though a strict drug testing programme has been implemented since then, it still doesn't eradicate the memories of these incidents and the fact that Flair died in 2013 shows that the problem hasn't quite gone away. The Wrestler Deaths website has plenty more examples of wrestlers who died from drug overdoses.

Of course, that's not what we're presented with when we watch wrestling (even if the situation with McMahon and Trish was shown onscreen). We're presented with badass, well-built champions and cool wrestling moves. And it's pretty much what Boomstick gets presented with when him and Macho Man finally meet each other.

If Macho Man represents everything awesome about masculinity, then Boomstick represents everything repulsive about it, only without the misogyny, rape and transphobia that also comes with it. Macho Man is buff, charismatic and a world-famous superstar, and he can also rock a nifty beard. Boomstick also has pretty muscular arms, but appears to have a beer belly, has scruffy facial hair and can barely keep a relationship. Macho Man oozes confidence with his onstage persona, but Boomstick is prone to having emotional breakdowns whenever his own mask of confidence shatters.

Boomstick is more than determined to accept the idea that Macho Man was his true father all along, despite evidence being very clear that this isn't the case. The main reason is likely that he sees him as the type of man he wants to be and looks up to. After all, if you can't be like someone else you admire, you might as well form connections with them in one way or another in order to improve your own reputation. Alternatively, it could be interpreted that he's ashamed of his own sense of masculinity and feels that by accepting him as a father figure, he can project Macho Man onto himself in order to gain at least some confidence.

Does this attitude work? No. Macho Man makes it clear that he's not his father, shattering his hopes. He has another one of his temper tantrums, snapping out at even the combatants, which I doubt did him any favours in Randy's eyes. And then I guess something happened during the screen transition that REALLY did a number on him. By the time Boomstick reaches his mother's house, he's essentially scared and broken, lacking any of the bravado he had beforehand. It's a far cry from the guy who, when he first appeared in the series, was obsessed with using his gun, made sexual comments about the ladies and took delight in nearly all the violent deaths he witnessed. You'd think that they were two completely different characters.

To really seal the deal, it's Boomstick's mother who turns out to be his savior. Once he relates the problem regarding the search for his father to her, she's able to help him realise that things are better than they seem to be. And it really does wonders for Boomstick during this moment. Around her, he can easily show off his more vulnerable side and not be judged for it. He can show affection, cry and accept advice from her, stuff that toxic masculinity discourages but in reality is something we all need to do at some point.

And by accepting his own mental health issues regarding his father and allowing himself to have this vulnerable moment, Boomstick comes out all the better for it. He gains back the boisterous personality he's had for most of the series, but it doesn't come across as a mask for his own issues anymore. Considering this outcome, is it any wonder that releasing this episode on the 10th October, Mental Health Awareness Day (even if the original reason was to celebrate the show’s 10th anniversary), makes so much sense?

Obviously this won't completely fix Boomstick's state of mind. He still has a love of violence, an obsession with beer, a perverted nature and a foul temper, but in this moment, he did manage to get the advice he needed and therefore move on from a major issue that was wreaking havoc his mental health. And it's quite likely that, if he has more moments like these in the future, with him allowing himself to get emotional and having someone to help him through his issues, he'll probably get closer to further recovery...

...Which is exactly what other men with similar issues need to be doing in real life. Just pretending to be tough, hiding emotions and refusing to rely on other people just makes mental health issues related to toxic masculinity worse. Allowing yourself to show emotion, cry and ask for help will stop that from happening and instead help to improve things. It's fortunately something that is starting to happen in our modern society, but it's still a long way before the situation truly improves.

At this point, it's time for masculinity as a concept to be redefined completely. Our society may try and claim that "boys don't cry", but in the words of Malorie Blackman's novel Boys Don't Cry (named sarcastically in this case), "real men do". And the same goes with other aspects of toxic masculinity - they're simply a sign of immaturity, whilst the other things it tries to discourage against are the true signs of maturity and a mentally healthy mindset. After all, it's not important at all to be a man who tries to fit in with society's unhealthy demands, and it's more important to be a man who can be true to himself and rely on others and be a happier person as a whole in response. That's what true strength and masculinity is really about.

The Top 7 Nitrome Characters I'd LOVE To See In Death Battle!

[NOTE: All screenshots of the characters come from Nitrome's own games. Some either came from the original games themselves, or had to be screen-capped from other videos due to Flash not working anymore on them.]

So Shovel Knight Dig has now been released, and I couldn't be happier. The first Shovel Knight game is a classic with a brilliant cast of characters and several shout outs to the old NES era of video games. Being someone who's into works that pay homage to their older forms and have great characters I can root for, it's no wonder that it's one of my favourite modern games out there.

But the thing that really grabbed my interest about the game's sequel is that Yacht Club Games co-developed it with the British indie game company Nitrome. Nostalgia pretty much hit me when I found that out. I grew up with the Nitrome games long before getting into the international brands such as Nintendo. Plenty of them are parodies and homages to video games that already exist, but with a unique twist to them. And they have an interesting style and sense of humour to them too.

Shovel Knight was already in Death Battle, but before this game even went into conception. Otherwise, no Nitrome character has ever appeared in a fight. And I would really like it if they were. Some have interesting fighting styles, some have interesting concepts and some are just entertaining in their own right. Additionally, given their homage statuses, it could be fascinating to watch them fight the characters they were originally based on.

So here is a list of seven Nitrome characters who I would be delighted to see in Death Battle if they get the chance to do so. Hopefully this gives people an idea on what kind of games they release and just why I fell in love with these games in the first place. I will also try to hypothesise who they could go up against and whether my matchup choices are actually good ideas or not. Without further ado, let's begin!

7. Canary 214-LE from Canary.

In this surprisingly creepy game, this little worker was supposed to help his company mine for crystals and other valuable resources on an asteroid they had colonised, before aliens invaded and corrupted the other canaries via their own equipment. Despite being a rookie, Canary 214-LE was forced to fight for his life as things spiralled out of controlled.

Like the other canaries, he comes with the standard canary mining equipment and suit. He carries a laser gun that he can use to cut through rocks (very handy considering his size) and kill enemies, though he cannot keep it on too long in case it overheats. He even comes equipped with a jetpack so he can cut rock in higher places and just fly about the colony itself, even into space.

I doubt that this little guy has had any fighting experience beforehand, and the hazards he has to face are either almost his size or much larger than him. And yet he still manages to prevail. Also, it might be because he's one of those protagonists who doesn't talk, but he seems to manage to make his way through without having a visible freak-out of some kind, despite the horrors he encounters. He may have been panicking on the inside, but he doesn't let it get in the way of escaping. Now THAT'S having some real guts right there.

Potential Opponents: Survival horror is the genre I associate this game with, so maybe a hapless worker who has had to survive some horrifying event. Alternatively, Drogoz from Paladins is a miner who wears a jetpack and searches for crystals, so there are some similarities there (though their personalities and backstories are completely different).

6. Blue from Test Subject Blue.

Blue in his pro-suit.

Blue is a fascinating little creature. He's an enzyme that is currently being tested by his creator, a scientist named Professor Egghead, in order to see how he reacts to dangers such as other enzymes. Unfortunately, the scientist's evil rival Dr. Nefarious ends up raiding the lab in order to take Blue for himself, leading to Blue having to go on an arduous journey to stop him and possibly save the world.

Blue has two exosuits that he moves around in. The first one is the proto-suit, which allows him to shoot proton bullets and either jump or crouch to avoid danger. It's also capable of creating a proton beam, if Test Subject Arena is any indication. The second one is Rex209, which shoots at a faster pace and can walk on ceilings at the cost of speed and mobility. It can even can talk. Both suits are fragile, but more than make up for it with their offenses.

For the sake of anyone who has not played the games yet, I will not spoil a major plot twist surrounding the little guy himself, but I will say that there is more to his powers than you would expect and essentially involve healing (though he can't heal himself). It also means that another character who he has a deep connection with could also be a potential fighter I'd like to see in Death Battle, but again, I won't give away spoilers.

Potential Opponents: Another tiny creature, preferably one in their own mini mech suit. For the character I'm not spoiling, maybe someone like them who has a similar occupation and had good intentions that went aury due to the mechanations of the villains.

5. Hazmat Hero from Toxic.

Also known as Toxic after the title of his own game, this character is exactly what you'd expect. He goes around in a hazmat suit fighting against evil robots that have taken over our world, all be infiltrating the factories they come from and taking them out there. Some of the robots are particularly challenging, including one that jumps over your head several times during your boss fight with it in the second game.

He has an access to a variety of bombs - some are normal, some create large explosions, some drill through the ground, some stick to surfaces and some create multiple explosions. Overall, whilst it seems that he is limited to just one type of weapon, the different functions that it has more than makes up for this.

Obviously, Hazmat Hero is not invincible. After all, falling in acid can kill him and he can be hurt by the robots. But the hazmat suit I presume protects him from the toxic gases in the factories from the green acid and he has been shown to capable of dodging green lasers. Ultimately, for someone with only a hazmat suit and bombs for defense, he's capable of achieving quite a lot.

Potential Opponents: Someone who also attacks with bombs. Elements of this series, most notably the Mother Brain character, seem to be inspired by Metroid, but I wouldn't choose Samus Aran as an opponent myself because I feel she might have too much of an advantage. Caustic from Apex Legends also has a poison gas theme with his protective suit and drops explosives (in his case, toxic gas grenades), but the backstories and personalities for the characters are again drastically different, so I don't know. It would be interesting though to see a good guy go up against someone who skirts the line between hero and villain.

4. Dirk Valentine from Dirk Valentine and the Fortress of Steam.

Steampunk has always been a favourite genre of mine, so naturally I was drawn to a character with that vibe. Dirk Valentine is an ace soldier, spy and adventurer who aids the British empire in fighting against Baron Battenberg and his steam-powered war machines. Essentially, he's a renaissance man who's able to keep up a stiff upper lip like any good steampunk-inspired Brit should.

He's got a pretty interesting weapon too - the chain cannon. Created by the genius inventor Monty, the chain cannon not only allows Valentine to attack his enemies, but also to create bridges that he can walk across. When attacking his enemies, the chains essentially turn into projectiles that are strong enough to take out robot soldiers and giant floating mechs capable of shooting projectiles themselves.

Also, he saved freaking Queen Victoria. I mean, how impressive is that? Thanks to him, the Baron was defeated and Britain was able to take on his remaining forces. If that's not an impressive feat for a gentleman general like Dirk, I don't know what else is.

Potential Opponents: Another steampunk general. Alternatively, Henry Hatsworth is also a quintessential British gentleman like him who has fought against mechs and mech suits in his own game. And they both like their tea. Whatever fight he ends up in, I want it to be as stereotypically British as possible. ;)

3. Austin Carter (plus Justin Bennett) from Nitrome Must Die!.

Austin and Justin. Justin is on the left and Austin is on the right.

You know those online trolls who get super pissy if a work doesn't do things the way they want? Well, goth wannabe Austin Carter is one of those, having an irrational hatred of the Nitrome company due to their games being too difficult for his tastes. But he goes a step further than most trolls - he heads over to the headquarters and ACTIVELY GOES OUT OF HIS WAY TO TAKE THEM DOWN. Oh, and he brought his fellow internet troll and Kenny McCormick lookalike Justin Bennett along for the ride too.

Austin may be a simple everyday cynic and killjoy without any superpowers, but thanks to discovering some guns in the bins outside the headquarters before heading in, he's got a sweet arsenal at his disposition. He's got shotguns, a bow and arrow, even a gun that shoots tiny drills. Whatever the situation is, he nearly always has a solution for it in the form of murder and violence.

Throughout his rampage, he took down quite a few major Nitrome characters. For instance, he defeated a mecha equivalent of Godzilla, which is about ten times his height and is powerful enough to destroy buildings in Tokyo much bigger than it is, if its origin game Rubble Trouble Tokyo is any indication. He also took out the moon from Cheese Dreams while it was possessed by the titular Parasite and even a giant robotic nose shooting out living snot balls (yes, there is context). And of course, he fought the CEO of Nitrome while the latter was in a mech, highlighting how serious he was in his quest to take down the company.

In short, he's a character Nitrome fans love to hate. And considering that Death Battle has a reputation for some rather vocal fans getting pissed off whenever a fight doesn't go their way, it would be interesting to witness Wiz and Boomstick discussing Austin in that light. The same goes for Justin too.

Potential Opponents: Another hardcore internet troll or hater. Any of the trolls from Homestuck could do, since he seems to be inspired by them and they also have a love for violence and hate. Plus, given the types of characters that Austin has defeated, he could probably fight against the trolls easily. Alternatively, Wascot from Monday Night Combat, who is a deranged fanboy intend on killing the mascot Bullseye and has a gun that shoots out explosive projectiles.

2. Takeshi from Final Ninja.

Takeshi's story is pretty deep by Nitrome standards. Sometime in the future, when corporate businesses are at war with each other, he was training to becoming a ninja for one of these businesses, run by Akuma. But on what was supposed to be simply his first mission, he ended up having to face off against the diabolical Maxwell Merlock and his partner Dr. Victor Boshi.

His ninja suit allows him to shoot out ninja stars to harm his enemies from a distance, shoot out wires to swing from and even turn invisible whilst stationary. He can even take on the guise of another character if he really needs too. Those ninjas stars are pretty versatile too - they don't just blow up machines, they can even allow Takashi to control certain enemy drones and turn them against his opponents.

Later on, despite becoming an old man, Takeshi has clearly taken a level in skill and power. When he tried to leave for a quiet life and Akuma set his forces on him, he was able to defeat them all with ease. And when donning the ninja suit once more to take out Akuma once and for all, he was able to defeat his forces and two robots BY HIMSELF. Quite a far cry from when he first started out and needed a bit of help from Akuma's forces and Lady Snow Fox.

Potential Opponents: Another ninja who has probably also grown old and jaded with his original profession. Solid Snake from Metal Gear Solid could also be an interesting choice - he's not a ninja, but he also relies on stealth and has become jaded over the years. Additionally, Final Ninja is inspired by certain elements from the Metal Gear franchise, so meeting up with his game's inspiration could make sense to Takeshi in some ways. Snake might have a major advantage though.

1. The Climber from Frostbite and Thin Ice.

Both cute AND badass, the Climber hunts down creatures and climbs mountains, and is a computer game character I have grown up with my whole life. She's essentially a combination of Popo and Nana from Ice Climbers, combining Popo's outer appearance with Nana's gender. But she doesn't go for the straight-forward and basic approach of a simple large hammer. Instead, her main weapon of choice is a grappling hook that allows her to climb mountains more easily and give her the field advantage whenever she has to participate in a boss fight. The grappling hook has also allowed her to shoot down enemies and even rip out the eyeball of a giant cyclops ram creature (quite gory for such a cute-looking game). When not using her grappling hook though, she likes to go ice-skating on frozen lakes and use them to create holes to sink monsters into.

She's traversed twenty mountains and twenty frozen lakes, defeating monsters such as the aforementioned cyclops monster, a giant caterpillar creature that she tore various segments off, a giant woolly rhino and a giant (notice a pattern?) ape creature that can summon bats and troll-like critters. Oh, and did I also mention that the rhino and ape creature were defeated simply by jumping onto them about four times?! Not only is the Climber an ace with her grappling hook, but she's super strong with her feet considering her height as well.

Also, this was the first ever "playing as a girl" plot twist I ever came across in a game, which was always something that remained with me. Plus, unlike Samus Aran (no offence here, I love her character too), the Climber has not fallen into the pitfalls of being sexualised or being "softened" in an insulting manner for a later game (goddamnit Other M, you stupid game). She's still the same adventurer who likes to hunt monsters and conquer mountains.

Potential Opponents: As mentioned, Popo (or possibly Nana) from Ice Climber. It would be an interesting long-range versus short-range fight and I can imagine them duking it out as they race to reach the top of a mountain.

These are just the ones I have chosen so far, due to some others have having finicky and complicated powers that may not translate so well to death battles, but there are plenty more Nitrome games and characters out there. I highly recommend you check them out on this website here - some of the games are still only available in Flash, but some have been converted to HTML5 for now. I also recommend going on the Nitrome wiki to watch embedded playthroughs of some of the games, as well as this video here in order to listen to the awesome music from the franchise (thanks to Veezenn for uploading these songs!). :)